all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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