She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Girls should come with a carfax report
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
