My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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