Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
