Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
