I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
PANTIES FOUND
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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