You really coming over, don't trick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just invented taco cereal.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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