Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
