i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
