Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
