It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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