Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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