He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize