Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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