Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize