Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize