How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
