You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
please don't ironically join a cult
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