Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We talked him into tasing himself.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
