does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
