he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
did i walk over a car last night?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
