you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
