problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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