Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
