He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
