At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
