I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
