Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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