I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."