We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!