just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
