Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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