he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hippo gnu deer
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
