Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
