Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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