I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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