I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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