Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
