Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize