I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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