Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
