i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
