if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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