Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
