piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
