I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
