Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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