my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
