This is not my ceiling
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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