but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
