You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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