Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
