Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize