Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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