soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize