sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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