Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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