I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
