Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
