U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
