people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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