your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Randomize
