Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it hurts more in the daytime
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
