Just fell off a train. Bad.
Farmville is her only friend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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