I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
