and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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